


Future

by AngelynMoon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Sad, Steve Rogers Feels, Suicidal Thoughts, The Avengers (2012) - Freeform, sad Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2020-07-10 16:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19909048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: Bucky had said they were going to the future, Steve thought they were going together.





	1. Chapter 1

In the end Steve was always left with nothing. 

It had only begun when Bucky went off to War, he'd managed to follow eventually only for Bucky to fall.

He took the plane down into the Ice expecting death only to wake.

He woke to nothing. The Commandos dead and buried, lost to him just like Bucky. Howard dead, his son a distant figure that Steve could not bring himself to reach for but oh, how he saw Howard's brilliance in him, only it was somehow more. 

And Peggy, Peggy was the worst of it, not because of what they might have been, not because she was dead, no, it was worst with Peggy because sometimes she didn't know him, but the worst days were when she did, when she thought it was still the 40's and they were planning missions and when she said Bucky's name just so, that secret little smile because she knew how much he loved Bucky, how much Bucky had loved him.

And Steve was left with nothing yet again when her memory drifted away, when she asked his name. When she smiled at him and whispered that she'd known someone that shared his face once, when she muttered how that man owed her a dance.

Saving the world with Stark, Agents Romanov and Barton, Banner and Thor changed nothing. 

Thor took Loki back to Asgard, Romanov and Barton went their own way to recover and Stark took Banner into his Tower.

And Steve was left with nothing yet again. A museum of War reels that showed Bucky and him laughing, god, Steve had wanted to kiss him then, wanted Bucky to breath that laughter into him.

But no, it had been illegal then. And, god, the day Steve had learned it was legal for persons of the same sex to marry he had fallen to his knees and sobbed.

Sobbed for the marriage he'd never have, the man he'd only ever calked husband in secret, in his head, in his heart, in the darkness of locked rooms filled with fear of discovery.

He'd fingered the silver band he wore with his dog tags as he had cried in his locked and silent apartment.

It belonged to Bucky's father before the man had passed and Mrs. Barnes had given it to Bucky for the future, maybe she had known where it would end up, that it would end up with Steve like the ring Steve's mother had wore until her death had ended up around Bucky's neck, had fallen with him, lost to ice and snow, lost with Bucky and Steve's heart.

Steve thought about wearing it, thought about coming out to the world, but how could he, how could he tell them about the man he'd jumped through fire for, the man he'd loved and lost.

Bucky was his. His love, his life.

Steve had been left adrift in the future Bucky had always hoped to see, left with nothing but a heart filled with love for a man long gone.

Steve walked out of the briefing to the motorcycle that Fury had gotten him and he paused before climbing on, fingers going to the ring that Bucky had given him so long ago.

And for a moment he looked up at Stark Tower, where Stark had offered everyone a home and parts of Steve wanted to accept, wanted to let Stark in and the others but he couldn't, not yet.

He had a promise to keep after all.

Steve removed the ring from the chain around his neck and slid it onto his ring finger, staring down at it with tears blurring his vision.

"Till the end of the line." Steve whispered to himself as he started the motorcycle, the same words Bucky had first spoken while handing him the then too large ring.

Steve pulled away from the Tower, speeding through the streets of New York.

Bucky had made him promise that when the War was over they'd go to the Grand Canyon and Steve had joked a bit about it being their honeymoon destination.

Well, tbe War was over.

Steve had a promise to keep.

And a honeymoon for one.

He'd always known he'd end up with nothing.

\---

A/n: i am so sorry.

This is set just after the first Avengers movie when Steve heads off on his lonesome.

I don't have an excuse. I just needed to write and the whole premise of Steve being all alone after waking up made me have sad feels for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Honeymoon for one.

Bucky had always talked about the Grand Canyon, about going there when the War was over.

They'd talked about what it'd be like, Steve had carefully sketched each vision and hung them up around their apartment.

They'd promised to go when the War was over, no matter if one of them didn't make it, they had promised.

So, here Steve was, standing on the edge of the Grand canyon.

It was nothing like they had envisioned. 

Steve stood at the edge, passed the protective barriers and it was like he was standing at the end of the world, looking down he could barely see the ground at the bottom and he felt almost dizzy at the sight.

It be so easy to just...fall, like Bucky had, just fall down to the bottom, wind in his hair, would he even feel the moment he hit the ground, had Bucky?

Steve closed his eyes tight and lowered himself down to sit on the edge of the Canyon, let his legs dangle freely over the edge.

He forced himself to breath as he opened his eyes.

He took out his drawing book and began to sketch, not the view but a memory.

It took hours to get it just right but he finished his drawing just in time, just as the sun began to sink down over the horizon.

He looked at the drawing of Bucky and traced carefully down the line of his cheek.

He held the picture up to the sunset until the sun was gone.

"We made it, Bucky. View could be better, wish you were here." Steve found himself saying to the drawing.

Steve shifted a little, laying down after propping the art book up so he could see it by the light of the moon.

"Happy Honeymoon, Bucky." Steve whispered as he twisted the ring on his finger and closed his eyes.

\--

A/n: i didn't intend this to be so sad but it was something i had to write out.


End file.
